Growing up I always thought I had to have everything figured out, even if it was just a little bit. “I’m going to go to college, graduate, get a job, get married, have kids and live happily ever after.” I like to think that opportunities present themselves when destiny and hard work mix. This theory is solemnly based on my experience, so for anyone wanting to call bullshit...hey it might be, but for now, it's my bullshit.
Let's take it back to right after I finished my undergrad (1000 years ago). Similar to many social college kids, I did not thoroughly prepare for life after college. I graduated and had that “oh shit, what do I do now,” moment. Luckily, I was blessed with an amazing mother who told me I was bringing my ass home till I figured that out. All I knew was after you graduate college you’re supposed to get a job and maybe apply for grad school, right? Well, that’s what I did. I applied for any job that I saw remotely match any skills I picked up in college and I applied for graduate programs.
After about a 3-month search, I landed a job at a local radio station and got accepted into the University of Redlands. My mom helped me move into my first apartment and even paid for my first few months of rent to get me on my feet. I thought I had it made and everything was figured out because that’s what’s supposed to happen, right?
I started to form a routine, like an actual young adult routine. I would wake up around 6 AM, cook breakfast and lunch for myself, get ready for work, work a full shift, workout, get home and do my homework, then do it all over again. I felt like I had this adulting thing down. A couple of months into my routine, I started feeling like I was just going through the motions. Nothing I did was sparking joy for me.
At my job, I noticed myself disengaging with the work I was doing, I was bored. My coworker would tell me “I think you should smile more,” and I would respond with “there’s nothing to smile about when I’m here.” There were days when I would sit there and think to myself “I can’t wait for the day where I can just drop what I’m doing and leave this place.” It was almost like you could feel the depressing vibes in that building. I remember one of the salespeople hit their 25th anniversary and when I asked how it felt, they responded with “I don’t know why I’m still here.”
Since I lived alone, I would come home to my empty apartment where I had no one to vent to about my day. Yeah, I would pick up the phone and talk to my friends, but no one was in the same stage of life that I was in. Some of my friends were still in their last year of college, others were in different time zones making it that much harder to chat with anyone.
At the same time, I began to notice my relationship was falling apart, and about 2 months after I started grad school my relationship had ended. I had hit an all-time low that I had never felt before. Nothing in my life was going the way that I thought it was going to go. I felt so alone. I would spend my days at work searching for my next job, hoping to find some light of happiness again, but when you’re unhappy for so long others are able to tell no matter how hard you try to hide it.
So one day when I went into the office, something felt off. My manager had been in and out of the general manager’s office all morning. Finally, my manager comes into the office and says “I think Jeff wants to speak with us.” So we both walk over to his office and once I walked in I saw my Supervisor and the GM and I knew exactly what was about to go down.
They fired me that day, it was probably one of the most liberating experiences I’ve ever been through. By this time, I had moved out of my apartment and into a place where some of my friends were already living. I remember coming home that morning and my roommate was there and when I walked through the door he looked at me like “what are you doing here?” and my response was, “I just got fired, and I’m so happy about it!”
A week later was my first experience of “God working in mysterious ways.” Remember when I said I would spend my day looking up other jobs? Well, during that time I was also really trying to figure out what it was that made me happy and how I could transfer that into a career, which I found to be event planning. I did some research on it and reached out to various established event planners. The day after I was fired, an NYC-based event planner named Marisa called me to invited me to help her execute a digital media party in New York. I was so excited, I booked a flight that day and flew out for a whole week. That was my first time visiting NYC and after that trip, I told myself one day, I’m going to live there and experience working in the Big Apple.
After the event, I came home and decided to pursue my passion for event planning. I came home recharged and ready to take hold of my life again. I was ready to reorganize my life and submerge myself in my studies until one day I received an email from my school saying that I had been academically dismissed due to my low GPA. I was devastated. I knew with everything going on that I had lost focus of my studies but this was for sure my rock bottom.
That day I sat there in my room re-evaluating my life and my priorities. For about a week, I didn’t do anything but just think about how I got here and how I never want to be in this situation ever again. Not sure if I ate or really even slept. I began the job hunt again a few days later. I searched for every and any job that had an “event planner” in it. I was starting to think it was time to share my journey with some friends who might be able to give great insight into what to do.
One night, I heard about a little party my friend was throwing. I hadn’t been anywhere in a while, so I decided to get out of the house for a while. I got to talking with a close friend who was also at the party and I told him about my situation. To my surprise, he had been going through something similar..wanting to change jobs because he was disconnecting with his work. He was extremely supportive and told me he’d be on the lookout for anything if it comes through. About a month later he sends me a job description of a position he thinks I would be interested in. As I read over the description, it was exactly what I was looking for! I applied immediately.
The following day I received an email back from the CEO saying he wanted to speak with me about the position. Two interviews later, I landed the job as the Marketing & Events Manager for the Building Industry Association! I FINALLY found the stability I was looking for. Fast forward four years, I completed one of my greatest achievements...I graduated with my MBA in 2018. After I finished school, I left my job at the BIA and moved to the East Coast with my current partner. I was fortunate enough to live out my dream of working as an Event Manager in New York City for a year. We decided we missed being home, so him and I decided to take our adventure back home. After a few months on the job hunt again, I landed the most amazing job at Yelp and have been enjoying preparing for the peak of my life.
I like to live by the most cliche saying ever, “Everything happens when it’s supposed to happen,” because I have lived through this saying. There were times where I would just sit in a quiet room to be alone in my thoughts. I needed to not only physically recharge myself, but mentally and spiritually. So if you find that you relate to my situation at any point in life just remember to work hard; good things can only come if you are doing your part, trust the process; I know it sucks sometimes to follow that but it will work out, and just know that God (or whatever it is you believe in) always has your back; because when you can put yourself in a great place spiritually everything else will seem to fall into place.
View publication on in PRESSED: 2020 April Issue, page 9